Time: 80 Minutes
Distance: 10.5 KM
I had a lovely, long run yesterday. 10.5km is one of my longest runs in a while and the majority of it was at well over 8km/h so it was consistent. But I don't want to talk about that today.
Gym Wankers… Gym Posers… Assholes!
There are a lot of words for them but I bet you that if you have spent more than 10 minutes in a gym you would have seen one. Think Ron Burgandy in Anchor Man. Shirt off, counting loudly and then moaning after dropping the weight.
Normally they are in the heavy weights section, sitting there for 40 minutes just staring at their muscles and doing the odd set here or there. Once I was on the running machine and a guy who is a regular at the gym jumped onto the machine next to me with a sideways cap and designer jumper on. He spent the whole 5 minutes of his walk just staring at his exposed legs.
I was about 15 minutes into my run when a man bounded up onto the machine next to me. A brief glance at the man told me he was a poser. He was dressed in a complete matching outfit. Black, very expensive, running shoes. Black shorts, black shirt. Hair perfect. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt! Maybe he wouldn’t be a poser and would just jump on the machine and start running.
How wrong I was… He started stretching. Now the gym has a dedicated stretching room and granted people, including myself, do one or two stretches before starting the machine. But boy these stretches were something to see. He lunged forwards- draping himself across the machine while he over extended his stretch to stupid proportions. I had my earphones in but could have sworn I heard him louding moaning. This went on for 5 minutes. He did stretches I didn’t even know existed- or he just made them up.
He then started the machine. Of he went, walking at an incredibly slow speed(nothing wrong with that) and he did it for about half an hour, only slowing when he found a song he liked so he could dance ever so slightly to it.
At the end of his 3km in 30 minutes he pressed stop on the machine and I thought it would be the end of my weird fascination with him. But NO, he didn’t walk off. Instead he turned to the side, stood on the end of the machine and stared at himself in the mirrors off to the side of the treadmills…
FOR 5 MINUTES!
Not doing anything, just literally slowly turning and staring at himself. Now, I will say this and I can’t talk, but he didn’t have an athletic body. He was just normal, few kilos over weight sort of guy. It wasn’t rippling muscles- not that it should make a difference.
After the five minutes were up, he proceeded into a series of more stretches. Once again, doing them completely wrong and as large and showyoff as possible. He then finally, looked at himself one final time in the mirror and left.
Now I try not to judge people. I try to live by the whole ‘never judge a book by it’s cover’ philosophy. But he appeared to be the most vain person I have come across in a while. It made me remember that I am losing weight and getting fit for practical reasons, like living longer. It’s not about the looks. But for some people it’s the opposite! Each to their own I guess but it sure made my run entertaining.